Philosophy of Life.

Someone once said, "it is better to be petty and vile than nothing." This appears to be the philosophy of the editor of the Parkville Dillusionary. He also has a paranoid streak a mile wide (he's always complaining that someone/everyone is out to get him). I understand that he complained that his paper boxes were jammed with screws; now, I ask you, who would waste a 5-cent screw on one of his paper boxes? I submit that the supposed jamming of his paper boxes and slashing of his tires may have been done by himself. After all, the only person that wouldn't look suspicious spending time with one or more of the Dillusionary's paper boxes is none other then the GWAH himself!
Why should he report on any positive news about downtown Parkville when he can make up glorious lies. My father used to say, "he's the kind who would rather lie when the truth would sound better." The GWAH, when fresh out of new lies, prefers to rehash old stories that were old news two or three years ago and he likes to present them as if they were just the latest news he's uncovered. The result is that he's constantly dropping stale turds on the pages of his birdcage liner. The good folks of Parkville (e.g. the Farmers' Market and the American Legion and at least two of the city Aldermen) have learned that his so-called newspaper, is not.